A deep dive on traveling with littles
I am relatively new to long road trips. They weren’t a thing we did much when I was a kid. Flying is more my style. I was flying alone multiple times per year before I started kindergarten. My parents would leave me at one gate and my grandparents would meet me at the other. I love everything about air travel. I love the airport, I love talking to the TSA staff, I love the news stands, I love boarding, I love people watching, I love picking out my reading material for the flight. Flying is my favorite way to travel by far. And then I met Jeff.
Our first road trip together happened shortly after we started dating, when Jeff invited me to his family’s annual trip to Lake Winnipesaukee in New Hampshire. We’ve logged thousands of miles together in the six years since that first trip, but I’m still very much a rookie when it comes to family road trips, and I will try just about anything to make them a little easier if not get out of them entirely. Which is how we found ourselves in a Class C RV for our recent road trip to South Carolina.
Jeff and I were convinced that driving an RV to our family vacation would be the magical solution to everything that’s hard about road trips with little kids. We thought that renting an RV would make road trips a total breeze, like being at home, except on the freeway. We were kind of smug about our brilliant plan, but as it turns out, traveling by RV has pros and cons. They’ll be different for every family but these are ours.
PROS:
The bathroom - there is a bathroom in the vehicle that you can get up and use at any time. This is one of the biggest pros, in my opinion. No holding it. No desperately looking for freeway exits. Stay hydrated my friends.
Diaper changes - I changed diapers on the bed or on the floor. This was another big pro in my opinion because I could change a diaper on the go and not have to make an extra stop.
The fridge - We packed food and beverages for the drive and it was great to be able to keep sandwiches and snacks cold and within reach without worrying about it getting water logged in a cooler.
Storage - There was ample room to store bags, stroller, pack n plays, etc. under the RV. We were not limited at all when it came to space. Inside the RV there were also plenty of places to keep snacks, books, games and toys for easy access during the drive.
Room to move around - We kept the kids in their car seats most of the drive but let them out occasionally to sit on the bed. They had to be sitting down but it gave them a little more freedom to play or do an activity and move their bodies a bit. Lucy has a hard time sleeping in the car and actually napped on the bed on our way to vacation and I felt like this was a major win.
CONS:
Not a smooth ride - The RV we rented was basically a glorified delivery truck. If Jeff was driving 60 mph it felt like he was going 80. It didn’t matter how slow he went or how cautiously he drove. We felt every bump, every breeze, every pot hole. I think I actually came out of my seat a couple times. Which brings me to:
Motion sickness - I was nauseous any time I wasn’t driving, which was most of the time.
Speed - You can’t drive as fast in an RV, so when all was said and done, it took us at least as long to get there as it would have in the car, even when you factor in multiple bathroom stops.
No car - Unless you tow a car behind the RV or pay to rent a car at your destination, you don’t have a normal vehicle to drive. This ended up being more of an issue than we originally thought and became a serious inconvenience on more than one occasion.
Nowhere to put an iPad - in the car, we have an easy spot to put the iPad for watching a movie, but in the RV there wasn’t a good way to set up a movie, so either only Lucy could see, or I had to sit and hold it so both kids could see.
Expensive - It wasn’t cheap to rent and, in my opinion, ultimately not worth the expense.
High maintenance - You have to empty the waste container and fill the propane for the generator, which you can’t do at any old gas station. Finding somewhere to go and getting there during the right hours is tricky and time consuming.
What’s the same?
Just like in the car, the kids got antsy and uncomfortable and upset. Heck, we all got antsy and uncomfortable and upset.
We were still constantly picking up dropped water bottles, doling out snacks, and setting up car friendly activities just like we would in the car.
It was still hard. At the end of the day, 11 hours is 11 hours no matter what you’re driving. Being in the love child of a studio apartment and a box truck didn’t make the drive all that much easier and it definitely wasn’t the magical solution we hoped it might be.
Our Current house rules for road trips
6 hour max drive time per day. We picked this number based on our furthest drive to get to immediate family, which happens to be 6 hours.
Trips are 7 days minimum. For us, to make a long drive worth all the prep work it entails on the front end and unpacking and re-entry afterward, a trip needs to be long enough to really enjoy and we’ve landed on at least 7 days. That’s 7 days in our location, not including travel days. This last trip was 5 days and it didn’t feel like we were preparing to leave before we even got settled.
Travel with kids = trip. Travel without kids = vacation. Using different language for family trips vs vacations is an easy way that Jeff and I help set our own expectations and protect our mental health. Both are great, but let’s be clear, traveling with kids is mostly just parenting in a different location and often it is one million times harder. Is it worth doing? Absolutely! Do I love it? I do! Travel stretches me and challenges me and often teaches me surprising things about how capable and smart and fun to be with my kids are. Is it fun? Not really. I mean, it’s super fun for them and there are plenty of fun moments for me, but on the whole, traveling with small children is just plain hard. In this stage of life, traveling without them is more fun for me, and that’s okay.
What happens in the car stays in the car. Can you watch another movie? Yes. Can you have more fruit snacks? Definitely. Here’s an entire can of Pringles, too. There are basically no rules in the car. We are just trying to arrive in one piece and somewhat sane.
These rules will change, probably after our next road trip. Our rules will shift as we learn what works and what doesn’t for our family. The rules for how we do road trips aren’t set in stone and they shouldn’t be! They’re not meant to be restrictive. They’re meant to help us simplify road trips and make decisions based on what works for us in this stage of life.
Takeaways
We are in a stage of life where road trips are hard and we often get home feeling more ragged and worn out instead of refreshed and rejuvenated. And yet, I believe that all the work it takes to take big road trips is worthwhile. There’s a 100% chance that Jeff and I will have the same argument we always have on family trips about who’s doing the most and who’s doing the least. The kids will not sleep great and therefore neither will we. Everyone will get tired and cranky and melt down in public at least once. And also, I’ll watch my siblings love and spoil my kids. The children’s museum will be closed and our changed plans will actually be lovely and we’ll go out to lunch and the kids will behave better than I ever would have imagined and Jeff and I will raise our mimosas in celebration. We’ll go to the beach and I’ll teach Lucy how to make drip castles while Jeff holds James up to the water and I’ll smile every time I hear him belly laugh as the waves hit his chest.
Those are the moments I’ll carry home with me. I don’t need a souvenir t-shirt or Christmas ornament. In a week or so we’ll catch up on sleep and on the laundry. We’ll forget how miserable the hardest moments were and what will remain are stories of sand castles and boat rides and mini golf.