On Wednesday I had a little (ok, big) breakdown about how COVID19 is turning our life upside down here in the Steele house. We had been gone for over a week visiting my grandparents in Florida and then flying to Cincinnati for Jeff’s grandma’s funeral. Jeff was working from home but I w as still going into the office at that point, so I hadn’t really had a chance to sit with the reality of the situation. After Lucy was in bed and I was mentally checked out of the office for the week, it all hit me at once. As I was talking to Jeff, I heard myself trying to rationalize my emotions. I felt frustrated, overwhelmed, anxious, trapped. On top of it all, I felt guilty for feeling all those things knowing that so many people are in much more difficult positions than we are. “I’m not trying to complain.” I said. “I know there’s a lot to be grateful for.” As true as that was and is, I was skipping the first two steps in practicing mindfulness and jumping to the last step.
In order to move forward with a clear heart and open mind, we need to acknowledge that part of us feels scared, trapped, annoyed, angry, frustrated, overwhelmed, confused, etc. Naming those emotions and noticing them creates a little space between who we are and what we’re experiencing.
Next, we need to accept that the way we are feeling is understandable, given the circumstances. It makes sense that we’re feeling physical, mental and emotional discomfort right now. If your feelings were dismissed when you were a child, it may be difficult for you to accept your own emotions as an adult. When you notice your self talk sounds like “you’re being too sensitive” or “stop being so dramatic”, think about what you would tell a friend or a small child when they’re experiencing the same emotion. Maybe something like “I understand that you’re feeling scared and angry right now” or “I know that this is frustrating for you. It’s okay to feel this way.”
Last, we take action. There are a few things we can do while we’re staying at home to feel grounded and find some peace and joy in a less than ideal situation. First, be choosy when it comes to how and when you consume news. Having the 24 hour news cycle playing in the background is most likely not helping your mood. For most of us, 20 minutes of news consumption per day from credible sources is enough to keep us informed. Second, focus on what you can do. On Thursday morning, after my meltdown the night before, I made a mental list of things we could still do. Drive through Chick-fil-a, drive around with nowhere to go, take walks, visit my sister who lives down the street, call friends, play cards, read books, cook, grocery shop, take a bath, etc. Third, keep a few things in your daily routine that ground you. We’ve stopped setting our alarm at this point and our days look more like a fly-by-the-seat-of-our-pants-Saturday than a structured Monday. Even though we’re living at a perpetual weekend pace, some things haven’t changed. In the morning, I still make a cup of coffee and come back to bed to read scripture, a devotion or another spiritual book and journal. In the evenings (post bedtime), Jeff and I still decide what to do together after tidying up the house. Sometimes we play a game of Mexican Train or Spite & Malice. Other times we watch a movie. Sometimes we both work on our own things. Sometimes we go straight to bed and read.