Last week in our office, another therapist shared with me an activity she’s been doing with her clients in the midst of COVID19. At the top of a whiteboard she wrote “Same, Better, Different” with room for making a list under each one. I loved this idea so much I did it with my own clients, most of whom are working and/or studying from home, spending more time in close proximity to their immediate family and are no longer engaged in their normal weekly routines.
It’s been jarring to have our lives turned upside down. Today we drove through Chick-fil-a just to get out of the house and Jeff said “It’s so weird that two weeks ago we were going into a Chick-fil-a to order and now that’s not an option.” On Wednesday night, I was low key freaking out. Lucy and I get out of the house at least once a day most days when I’m home. She’s so busy right now that getting out keeps me sane and engages her curiosity. So, Thursday morning, I put myself through the same exercise I put my clients through. Here’s what I came up with.
Same
Walks - We’re still getting out for walks as often as we can. In fact, we’re getting out more. On days I’d normally look out the window and think “nah. Let’s go to Target instead” I’m like “LAYER UP, Y’ALL! WE’RE GOING OUTSIDE!”
Morning/Evening Routine - I still wake up before Lucy to have a cup of coffee, read and journal in the mornings. In the evenings, Jeff and I still tidy up the house, finish washing dishes and catch up on laundry. Then we play cards or watch a movie or work next to each other on our own things until we go to bed and read. Keeping the beginning and end of our day relatively the same has been such an anchor during a time of relative chaos.
Friends/Family - My book club still met last week, I saw a few friends throughout the week, and we spent some time with my Dad, Bonus Mom, brother and sister this weekend. We’re finding a balance between maintaining social ties and staying safe in a way that works for our family.
Better
Time - There are a few things I’ve been wanting to do for months: learning how to better use Procreate, working through Eight Dates with Jeff, cleaning out the garage, cleaning out my closets, washing down the walls and baseboards, etc. Suddenly, there’s a lot of time to cross these off my to do list, and it has been really rewarding.
Creative parenting - Sometimes I think this situation would have been a lot more fun before we had a busy 11 month old around. Honestly, though, I’ve had so much fun perusing the internet for creative activities to do with Lucy. It’s amazing the way she’s engaged with simple games we’ve made using stuff we had laying around the house like cotton swabs, toilet paper rolls, egg cartons and socks.
Rest - Because neither Jeff nor I have anywhere to be in the mornings, we’ve set the alarm for 7:00 instead of 6:00 and I’ve noticed a big difference in my mood and energy with that extra hour of sleep.
Sex - My “ideal” time of day when it comes to sex is 3:00 in the afternoon. That time just so happens to coincide with Lucy’s afternoon nap. With both Jeff and I working from home, it’ll be a miracle if I survive the pandemic without getting pregnant.
Different
Wine - By 4:30 in the afternoon (at the latest), I am counting the minutes until 5:00. Not every day, but more often than usual, I’m pouring a glass of red wine while I make dinner. Is this a habit I want to keep up forever? No. Am I super worried about it in the short term? Also, no.
Workouts - With the gym being closed, I’ve had to get creative when it comes to getting in a workout. I don’t always love working out from home. Something about going to the gym makes it feel like it counts more than an at home workout. Without the gym as an option, I’ve had an opportunity to challenge that false belief and get creative. I’m loving Fitness Blender, especially their pilates workouts.
Togetherness - If you don’t know this abut me already, I’m an introvert. I love being with people, but I need alone time in order to engage without getting burnt out. Alone time is sorely lacking in a 1200 squeeze foot condo with Jeff, Lucy and Hank around all the time.